Meet Morra Aarons Mele
I’m a mother of three, business owner, and committed hermit entrepreneur. I’ve been a blogger since 2005 and a feminist rabble rouser since I was 15. I’ve done internet strategy for three presidential candidates and more social action campaigns than I can count. I have two boys and a girl, so I’m committed to raising good men and smart women. I’m an introvert married to a mega extrovert. I have a lot of emotions and I’m happy talking about all of them: I believe they add to my strength!
Hiding in the Bathroom is a guide for ambitious introverts. I believe there isn’t only one way to be successful, and I wholeheartedly rebel against our current culture of entrepreneurship porn and rampant FOMO. If you’re an introvert, getting out there can be hard, and I want to strip some of the myths away from what it takes to be successful.
If you answer yes to any of these questions, Hiding in the Bathroom is for you!
Do you ever think “I can’t be successful because…”
I’m an introvert
I’m a fake and people will find out I don't know what I'm doing
Flying panics me
I’m a hermit. I need lots of alone time and I need to manage my own time
I need to take beta blockers before I address a group
I need to sleep at night
I want to spend time with my family and friends
Selling? Ugh. Negotiating? No thanks
I don’t like to deal with money
I’m not a shark
I’m not going to be the best. And I have to be the best.
Success takes skill—it’s not an inherent gift. And it’s not just for extroverts or the carefree. In addition, I love my work but I also love everything else in my life, and I’m devoted to developing skills and systems that make space for both. Now I want to bring those skills to other people.
Why is it needed in our world?
We live in an age of achievement porn: a huge pressure to achieve more and more success. Omnipresent narratives of successful entrepreneurs and leaders in social and mainstream media put that pressure into surround sound. This has profound effects on people. High achieving young women are more anxious and depressed than ever; most statistics state one in four college students in on antidepressants or anti anxiety medication.
If you’re driven and ambitious, conventional wisdom holds that you must network a lot. You must be always on. You must hustle and work 24-7. You must “get out there.” You must put business first at all costs. If you’re an introvert, or if you feel things in technicolor as my friend Christina Wallace says, the idea of living out your ambitions can be terrifying, and you might be tempted not even to try.
I want to show people an alternate method. There is no one kind of successful person. You can be the kind of success you want to be, and you can have a powerful career that sustains you- the real you. Hiding in the Bathroom will show you how.
What she hopes to accomplish:
Here’s the truth: success takes skill- it’s not an inherent gift. And it’s not the exclusive provenance of extroverts or the carefree. I wrote the book to share skills, hacks, and real stories from people who’ve been there, and thrived by defining their own rules. I also tackle the sometimes thorny emotions that accompany a quest for world domination and help you create a plan for success that feels great.
After ten years of research, a graduate degree from Harvard, and over 200 interviews I can also help educate managers and HR leaders on how to retain skilled and ambitious employees who might struggle with a typical everyday office environment because they are introverts, struggle with anxiety, or are “hermits,” who need time and space to think and do their best work-- away from the din of the cubicle. In the twenty-first century, human capital is the most valuable resource in our economy. As we recognize neurological and emotional diversity in all its forms, workplace culture needs to begin to make room for the Technicolor range of emotion. Although so much has been done (rightly) to promote diversity at work, there’s a giant hole in the understanding of how temperament and emotions play into not just our daily grind at the office, but the very trajectory of success.
Think of all the talent companies lose because hermits need more control over their place, pace, and space. Think of all the potentially great entrepreneurs who feel discouraged from starting their businesses because “getting out there” is a trial. When one employee leaves a job, the typical cost of replacement is three months of salary. Think of the cost is when a whole slice of the population struggles with the dominant workplace paradigm.
It’s time managers and HR professionals also begin to recognize the ambivalence and inner conflict many insanely talented people feel. Because when they get the space they need, great employees have no reason to quit, or feel miserable. Understanding temperament and giving your employees the autonomy they crave is a great management tool.
How we can support:
My number one ask is to please pre-order the book here.
Second: if you want to talk to me, reach out (tweet me @morraam)! I’m happy to be on podcasts, give talks or webinars, and learn from other people.
@morraam on Twitter, and please sign up for my newsletter at hidinginthebathroom.com