I was just wondering — What is a good way for someone aged 13-14 to lose weight? I have been what my mother calls overweight and my dad (exaggeratedly) calls obese for about a year now and it is really pissing me off. All the other girls at school are thin — like there are only about 3 fat girls in my grade. I want to be thin — one of my goals is to be able to walk down a busy beach in a bikini and not feel self-conscious. What is a good way to lose weight? – Emma, 13

Dear Emma,

I’m sorry you have to deal with weight issues already! It makes me sad to hear about the negative comments from your parents, as I know this deeply affects your confidence and body image. Our weight is a combination of our diet and our genes. Some people are genetically made to be bigger or smaller than others, and this is one aspect we cannot change. However, your diet and lifestyle are things that can evolve but it’s not a quick thing.

Take a look at your diet and overall health; do you eat a balance of foods? Make sure you’re eating enough fruits and vegetables, lots of water and eating enough? Sometimes our lives are so busy (especially at your age), that we forget to have breakfast or take time to sit and enjoy our dinner. Also, enjoy your food! If you LOVE pasta or chocolate, that’s okay! The key is to eat everything in moderation. Maybe creating your own healthy snacks, like yogurt with chopped strawberries, can help you eat healthy and try some new foods. Being active is also a huge part of feeling good (physically and mentally) about your body. Right now is the perfect time to try new foods and activities, like a new sport, hiking, or whatever suits you best!

It’s especially tough to have our family members put pressures on us that aren’t exactly helpful. For instance, instead of your father calling you ‘obese’ he could choose to help you look at your health in a positive way and begin making changes. So make sure you are clear that you want to be healthier for you and not your parents, friends or anyone else. Getting health has lots of benefits – perhaps you will feel better in a bikini but I am pretty sure no matter what you’ll feel confident because you will have learned to take care of your body and your mind by feeding it loving foods and thinking loving thoughts!

Blessings from Team Jess

Saturday, March 13th, Jess will be speaking at AllyKatzz Tween Summit Town Hall at UCLA! Not only will she be giving a keynote address, she will be nominating tween Actionists®, doing a workshop with parents and networking with amazing tweens. If you haven’t signed up, do so soon, because these FREE seats are going fast and there are programs for PARENTS, TOO! AllyKatzz.com founder Denise has this to say about tween girls! “Tween girls want to be heard and to create positive change in the world they stand to inherit. The annual AllyKatzz Tween Summits (next planned for October 2010 in NYC) and Town Hall Meetings give girls the stage to be heard and opportunities to change their world. Since their interests are wide and varied we’ll be covering the environment, education, bullying, animal abuse, body image, products and branding as well as philanthropic efforts that are spearheaded by teens and tweens that they can emulate.”

Actionists®,

I am honored to be involved with a stellar national organization – the Step Up Women’s Network which brings together successful women in all fields and girls from diverse communities and backgrounds. Toward the end of last year, I participated in one of their workshops titled “I Dream…” where I got to help the girls visualize and capture their dreams of the future.  During the day, the girls also got to meet with their mentors and then ultimately created a “photojournalism” project out of their experiences of building the dream board, meeting with their mentors and the photographs that documented the day.  I encourage you to take a look at the projects. It is great to read, in the girls’ own words, what a tremendous impact being mentored by successful women has on their self-esteem and how it gives them hope and encourages them to pursue their dreams of the future.

Hello Actionists®!

It’s Monday and the first new day of month – and you know what that means….it can be a TRIGGER for anybody who is used to a diet mentality. I don’t know why, but for some reason diets always seem to start on Monday’s.

One of the most common resolutions when we start a new year is to improve one’s health. And most of the time that improvement takes the form of a diet. But what if we all began to dig a little bit deeper to expand our definition of health. What if we looked at weight loss not as a quick fix result but rather a concentrated effort over time. Would we all be healthier? Happier? Making less Monday morning resolutions to diet? I think so. And not only would this attitude shift make us happier – it could make our kids healthier. Check out our friend Dr. Divya Kakaiya who wrote a great article for CNN.com about how promising not to diet may actually have a great impact on your child’s self-esteem.

Hey Jess! I was wondering if you could help figure out how to stop feeling beneath others. I feel like the popular people, or attractive people are better than me and I shouldn’t be able to do what I want because I will be made fun of. I need to boost my self-confidence because a lot of the time I feel worthless and weird. Please help. Thanks. -Amanda, 16

Dear Amanda,

I’m so sorry you’re not feeling confident! We all have times when we feel insecure but don’t let those insecurities keep you from enjoying every minute of your life! This time in your life can be amazing because we learn and discover so much about ourselves! You’re really becoming an individual, learning what kind of person you are and what kind of person you want to become.

There is and will ALWAYS be people that enjoying bringing others down, it’s crucial you learn this now. Why are you concerned with what they think? They have just as many issues as everyone else, so what gives them the right to judge anyone? The voice you have to focus on is your own – it sounds to me like you are keeping yourself back from living life because you are choosing to feel worthless and weird. No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel!

Start by taking a close look at your peers. Each is unique but ALL of them are going through their own struggles and awkward situations that high school creates. No one is perfect; all the popular and attractive girls are just as insecure as everyone else! That’s why they pick on others, to distract everyone from concentrating on them. Then take a close look at yourself, inside and out. Why not go out and experience what you want to do? Don’t let anyone keep you from being you. Pick out a few inside qualities you really love about yourself, like your sense of humor, optimism or charm. Then pick a few physical qualities, your great hair, legs, anything! Then remind yourself everyday about all of those things you love about yourself and that you are just as important and worthwhile as anyone else! Keep reminding yourself and slowly you will begin breaking down those insecurities and loving and appreciating how wonderful you really are!

Blessings from Team Jess

Hi Everyone!

Need your quick and honest feedback to the questions below. Don’t worry about right or wrong answers, just respond with what’s in your heart. 

What makes you feel beautiful? 

If you see someone who you think is beautiful what qualities do you think they possess?

What makes you beautiful?

This will help me for a global project I am working on – so I appreciate your insight!

Love,

Jess