Hello Jessica!

I’m from Germany, and I want to be an author just like you, but I don’t know how to start! Could you tell me how you started?

Judy

Hi, Judy. Thanks for the compliment. You know, I didn’t know that I wanted to be a writer until a couple of years ago. A lot of people kept asking me to write my story down and share it with the world and I didn’t think I could do it! I was too scared to take the risk, but when I did, I was so happy! If you know that you want to become a writer, there are a couple things you can do while you’re at school. Join the journalism club if your school has one and begin to write for the school newspaper or write captions for the yearbook. Try to get involved with as many organizations that deal with writing as possible. Also, to be a good author you need to read a lot. Read other authors and find the books that make your heart sing and then develop your own style. Remember, Judy, the world wants to read your voice, so take time to develop it. The other thing that’s really important in becoming an author is living your life. Have lots of experiences, travel when you can, meet new people and do not be afraid to experience life to its fullest. Lastly, the key to becoming an author is to just start writing. The jobs will follow and the career will take form. You’ve got a great dream, Judy, and I support you in it!

These questions are intended to help create a conversation amongst viewers of HUGE. There are no right or wrong answers. Just some things to think about…

1. Amber and her friend seem to like the same guy. When that happens should one friend back down or is it Ok to admit that you both like the same person?
Why is it that girls always seem to fight over guys?

2. Telling someone they smell can be a difficult conversation to have. Why do you think Alistair is uncomfortable taking showers with his bunk mates? How do you think George handled telling him the news about showering? Have you ever had to give someone a delicate message like this? How have you handled it?

3.  Dr. Rand seems to be hiding a lot of secrets. What do you think happened between her and James, the director of the Tennis camp? Do you think Dr. Rand has a lot of self-confidence? Or do you think she struggles with it just like the rest of the campers?

4. Why do you think Will began to take over Becca’s idea of ‘Larping’? Have you ever had an outspoken friend like Will? Have you ever felt like your friend is taking over your ideas? Have you ever spoken up about it?

5. Will runs into her nemesis from school in the woods. How did you feel when the kids from Tennis camp began making fat jokes at Will and her friends? Did it give you some insight into the teasing Will has to put up with at her school?

6. Why do you think the campers eventually enjoyed ‘Larping’ so much? Is it fun to fantasize about being someone different? Do you think that sometimes we believe our lives will be different (or better) once we lose weight? Is that true (or not true)?

7. Do you think Amber cares too much about being liked by boys? Why do you think some girls care so much about what boys think of them? Where else could they get their confidence and self-worth?

8. Why do you think Shea yells all the time? What do you think happened last summer with her other assistant coach? Is George doing a good job as a coach or is he too involved with the campers (especially Amber)?

9. Becca really learns how to speak up and use her voice. How did you feel when Becca was the one to defend the campers in the forest? Is it hard for you to speak up when you are feeling stepped on or ignored?

10. The campfire story that Dr. Rand told was about surrendering. What do you think she was referring to – surrendering to what? Do you think it’s important to let go of the things we fight against (including our weight) in order to find some peace and then take some action? Why do you think Will refused to surrender (and put the paper in her pocket)?

11. Living Huge is defined as living a healthy life – emotionally, physically, and mentally. Was Becca’s speaking up a great way to emotionally live huge? How are you seeing each of the characters beginning to Live Huge?

12.  As you watch these episodes of “Huge” are you finding that you are focusing less on the actual weight or body size of these characters and more on their stories, problems, crushes, and triumphs?

Jess Weiner is an author, self-esteem expert and lives a HUGE life by helping girls around the world feel more confident!

Dear Jess,

People in my class make fun of me because I’m too small for my age, or because I’m ugly. I have to admit, I am. I have no friends at school, and even if I try to make one, it never works. I sometimes feel like everyone in my class hates me, and I’m not sure what to do — to change, or not to change? Please help. ~Stephanie

Stephanie, you have a sentence in here that really concerns me. When you begin to admit that you are unattractive…when you start to call yourself ugly…when you start to speak in a negative language…you tend to believe that negative language. I have a feeling that you are neither one of those things. Stephanie, my advice would be not to change. Because when you start to change to please other people, you begin a never-ending journey, a never-pleasing cycle, and it’s one that’s going to make you very miserable. You also have to watch the way you speak about yourself. Don’t believe the limitations that you think others are putting on you. You have to develop the best Stephanie there is, and there’s nobody else like you. There’s nobody else who looks like you, and there’s nobody else who thinks like you. So how do you make you the best person you can be. That’s where your focus and your energy need to be. When you start to do that, I think you’re going to start to make more friends because your focus is going to feel less needy, and it’s going to feel more empowered. I think people like to be around empowered and strong individuals. So try that — try putting the focus on you in a positive way and not a negative way, and see if that starts to make a difference in your life.

Blessings Team Jess

Dear Jess,

My ex boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago but I still really like him. He was my first kiss and I miss him. I broke up with him because he was shy and my friends hated him. They always nagged me to break up with him because he was about 7 months younger than me and they didn’t like him. Now he has a new girlfriend. My friends say it’s my fault because I broke up with him. He asked me last month if I still liked him and I told him I did. He never said anything but he looks at me all the time. My friends will randomly say that he’s looking at me. But every time I look at him and he sees me he wraps his arm around his girlfriend. Sometimes he will talk to me and always says things about his girlfriend. He told me the other day he was going to kiss her but he was nervous because he had only ever kissed one other girl (me). It pisses me off because one of my best friends who knows how much I like him tells me that they are so good together and that I don’t stand a chance. I just need to know if I am wasting my time with him. I don’t think I’m pretty at all. I’m one of the only people I  know without a boyfriend. Anyways if you think he doesn’t like me I need to know how to get over him nothings working. And I want to stop hurting over him.

Thanks, Aubrey

I am sorry to hear that, I know that boys can become such a big part of our lives, however there are a couple of things that I think we need to address first. You mention how you think that “you are not pretty at all”. Before having a boyfriend you need to focus on how you feel about yourself. One of the most attractive qualities that a girl can have is self-confidence, do you know why? Because it shines through! Not only that but how you feel about yourself reflects in your daily actions.

There is also a difference between taking advice from friends who care about you, and doing things because we feel pressured to. If you broke up with your boyfriend only because your friends didn’t like the fact that he was younger and shy, that is an example of peer pressure. You should never do things because you feel pressured to do so. You should be able to tell your friends how you feel. If they cannot respect that, but instead are pressuring you to do things you don’t want to or are saying mean things to you, it is time to look for new friends. I am sure that there are people who would love to be your friends, who would love you exactly as you are.

Now back to boys. Our first break up can be hard. So many emotions come in to place and we might not be sure of how to react. But believe me when I tell you that it will get better over time. Don’t focus so much on not having a boyfriend, It doesn’t seem to make sense but, believe me: love usually comes knocking when you least expect it. Instead, keep doing what you are doing: playing sports, going to movies, or just hanging out. The most important thing is to root your relationships in friendship (longer lasting), and let your personality shine through. The right guy for you will stand up and take notice if you do.

Blessings,

Team Jess

Dear Jess,

I’ve just been wondering if there was anyway you could give me some pointers on how to deal with low self-esteem and extremely low confidence… Sometimes I feel like these are things that I let take over my life… And, most days they take over my mind as well… I don’t know how to gain the confidence that I need to be a strong independent and happy young woman. I have let this problem go for so long that I developed an eating disorder 3 years ago that I have been trying to deal with, but most days it is insanely hard. I’m just not sure who to talk to or how to gain more confidence and be comfortable in my own skin… Please help me I don’t want to continue on the path I’m on because I know it’s not healthy. Thank you so much, Nikki.

Dear Nikki,

It is a slow process to re discover and develop your self-confidence but you can do it! I really think the most important thing you wrote in your email was that, “you don’t want to continue on the path you’re on because you know it’s not healthy.”  You are right, being healthy is so important.  And not just having a healthy body but having a healthy mind, too! I And since you are recovering from an eating disorder you also have to monitor that behavior and make sure you are continuing with a support team either with your family or other health care providers. Right now if you focus on something as broad as being “a strong independent and happy young woman” while it sounds amazing – it may feel hard to know where to start on that journey. One good place to start is by celebrating the small stuff. Yes, the small stuff. By looking at each step (for instance, “I went the whole day without dieting. Or I went 10 hours without calling myself ‘ugly’ or thinking a bad thought about my appearance) are actually cause for GREAT celebration. When you rack up those experiences it will continue to grow and expand and help you with that self- confidence you are seeking. That confidence comes when we take action. And small steps of action are a great way to start. In fact, writing this email was a superb step of action and I know you are on your way to a life of recovery and health! Keep going!!

Blessings,

Team Jess

Hello my name is Samantha I’m only sixteen and I have been having some trouble over the past few months. I started Cross Country and lost a lot of weight then after that ended I started to get obsessed with losing weight. I weighed 115 at the start of cross season and after that ended I weighed 101 (I’m only 5′2) I have all ways been involved in sports and such but, this was the most demanding and I loved it. I’m getting towards the indoor track season and I’m losing weight still. I was anorexic not to long ago I’m eating more but still not a ton, but I don’t know what to do. I want to loose more, but my friends are pestering me to eat more and more constantly and I cant do it, please help me. Unfortunately, I can’t say that’s the end of my problems if you think you can help me that would be great.

Samantha,

I want to commend you for understanding that your tendency to try and control your weight is bordering again on unhealthy and that you do need some help in managing these feelings and behaviors. You know, as an athlete that in order to compete at your best you must treat your body right, giving it the proper nutrition it needs to survive.   If you continue loosing drastic amounts of weight you will also loose the thing that you love, sports.   I think that it is wonderful that your friends are encouraging you to eat more this shows that they care for your wellbeing.  But they may not understand the tough inner workings of a disease like Anorexia – because it’s not all about the food. It’s about feelings, too. So I’d suggest going back to your support or treatment team that you worked with when dealing with Anorexia or talk to your coach about what you are feeling and let them know you are trying to focus less on the number on the scale and focus instead on staying healthy enough to compete in sports since that’s what you love! You can do this!!

Blessings,

Team Jess