I had the blessing and pleasure to be in Canada last month for the G(irls) 20 Summit and was beyond bowled over by the power and vision of the young women in attendance.

I was there to kick off the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem and what better backdrop than a gathering of smart, vibrant young women who are all committed to creating a world where girls can reach their full potential!  I wanted you to meet our delegate from the US – Ms. July Lee. She is working diligently to spread the message of the G(irls) 20 Summit so please get involved and lend your Actionist® voices to the cause!

Here’s what July had to say about being the US Delegate at the Summit:

To be chosen to represent the US from hundreds of applicants and to have the opportunity to be the voice for girls and women around the world was honoring, inspiring and empowering. Modeled after the G20 summit, the first ever G(irls)20 summit in Toronto, Canada brought together one girl from each of the G20 member countries plus an extra seat allotted to the African Union. The G(irls)20 summit focused on the United Nation Millennium Development goals and on issues that disproportionately affect girls and women around the world: education, child and maternal health, and economic opportunity. As delegates, we came up with a set of recommendations in the form of a communiqué that was presented to the G20 leaders to urge them to take specific actions. Our ultimate goal was to bring to the attention of world leaders the economic prowess of girls and women and to ensure that our voices were heard in the global conversation. Before each delegate returned to their home countries, we collectively agreed to work under the umbrella of education and further projects related to education in our communities.

As the ambassador for the U.S., it is my mission to continue the movement and I am currently seeking ways to spread the word through media outlets, grassroots events, talks, and organizations. If there is any such opportunity, please contact me at julyleec@gmail.com. To keep track of my progress and my ambassadorial work in the US, please visit my blog at http://july.girlsandwomen.com. Visit www.girlsandwomen.com for more information and sign up to get your personal number to represent one of the 3.3 billion girls and women around the world.  Take a stand on these issues and be a voice for change!

These questions are intended to help create a conversation amongst viewers of HUGE. There are no right or wrong answers. Just some things to think about…

1. What did you think of the Dodson Family? Did they seem over protective and too involved in their daughter, Danni’s, life? Or did they just have a close relationship?

2. Do you think that her family’s closeness had anything to do with Danni’s weight issues? How might feeling “smothered” by your family impact the way you feel about yourself or your body image.

3. Amber catches Danni’s little sister sucking in her stomach as she looked at herself in the mirror. What do you think Amber is thinking or feeling? Do you think it reminded Amber of how she might have behaved as a little girl?

4. Will really seems to hate organized sports because as she says “Organized sports are responsible for the worst 4 moments of my life” How do you feel about playing sports?  Have you ever let your weight or body image stop you from playing sports?

5. Dr. Rand seems to have a strained relationship with both her father and her mother. How do you think being in the middle of two parents who don’t get along might impact your body image or choices around food?

6. What did you think of Dr. Rand’s personal rule that she doesn’t “eat anything after dinner – ever!” Did she seem happy about that? Did it feel too restrictive? Do you have any rules that you try to follow with your nutrition? How do you feel if you don’t follow one of your own rules?

7.Amber seemed really frustrated by her phone call with her mom. Why do you think she felt that way? Was her mom leaning too much on her? What kind of pressure do you think that might put on Amber? She tells George that she is really glad to be away from her mom and at camp. Why is that?

8. While Dr. Rand is writing a difficult e-mail to her mom she doesn’t realize that she’s eaten the whole muffin. Have you ever eaten something while playing on the computer or watching TV and not been aware of how much you’ve eaten?

9. Danni ends up having an anxiety attack when her parents leave her alone at camp.Do you know anyone who suffers from panic or anxiety attacks? What do you think her anxiety was about? How do you feel her fellow campers felt when she left?

10. Both Mrs. Dodson and Dr. Rand’s father offer Will some support and words of advice. Do you think that helped boost her confidence? What do you think helped Will feel better about her ability to play basketball?

11. Will feels her family doesn’t think she is ‘good enough’ and begins to admit that to them in the letter she is writing. What did you think of that? Did it give you some insight into why she might feel so angry? Why do you think she tore up the letter?

12. How important is it to have your family’s support if you want to live a HUGE life?

Jess Weiner is an author, self-esteem expert and lives a HUGE life by helping girls around the world feel more confident!

Every month, Andrea Roe, author of “You Are Not Alone” sends out a special email Support Letter filled with personal recovery stories, inspirational sayings, special guest interviews with eating disorder experts, speakers and survivors, useful recovery and body image tips, inspiring poems and artwork, healing information, give-aways, and more.

This month I was privileged to be a part of this inspiring letter and I wanted to share it with you!

Here’s what one of our Actionists® had to say about her support letter.

“I always look forward to reading Andrea Roe’s You Are Not Alone Monthly Support Letter. From personal stories to professional guidance, You Are Not Alone is jam-packed with information that I really want to know — that I need to know. I highly recommend it!”

- Jenni Schaefer, Author of Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too

Make sure you check Andrea’s support letter HERE!

Don’t forget to also check out her books “ Your Are Not Alone” Volumes 1 & 2

There are some shows that are just better to watch with friends. And ABC Family’s “Huge” is one of them.

As I had mentioned in my blog last week -having screened the first few episodes, I had the advantage of knowing where some of the character arcs seemed to be heading but what I couldn’t possibly know was how my Actionist Network® or other members of the Confidence Community™ would react to the show.

There has been a lot of build up and skepticism about whether or not this show would demean plus size teens (any more than they already are demeaned in the media) or whether this show would glorify the complex issue of obesity that we face in this country. Some were hopeful that this show could finally claim normalcy for those who rarely see themselves represented in the TV shows they religiously watch.

But I never could have predicted how much I would have enjoyed watching the series premiere of “Huge” along with hundreds and thousands of twitter followers and facebook fans. And I am typically quite adverse to the community viewing events because it is hard to focus on my own experience when I am so surrounded by other people’s opinions (which is why I almost ALWAYS watch awards shows by myself!) However, a show like “Huge” actually invites you on some level to watch it with a community because it addresses issues so deeply buried by mainstream teen programming and so deeply emotional for many of the viewers, that watching solo may not be as satisfying.

For instance, when Will (played by Nikki Blonsky) says  “I’m kinda down with my fat, we are like BFF’s”, you could almost hear the collective clicking of keyboards begin their tweeting (and re tweeting!) The character of Will, I know stirred up some anger in my fellow community of viewers because Will herself is a polarizing figure with a defiant (and almost painful to watch) confidence about her body size. At first, she is determined not to succumb to the pressure of Camp Victory and lose weight as she declares quite bluntly “I don’t want to change myself. Why should I?”

I wasn’t thrilled (or surprised) when Will steps in the way of her own progress or others by dealing ding dongs out of the bathroom stall (the food/fat stereotype in full swing) but when she gets caught in the Diner trying to escape (and ordering fries and a shake to stuff down her feelings) we can feel her facade busting with cracks of real emotion and vulnerability (and we get to see the softer side of Camp Leader Rand, too).

Will represents the voice of the outside world. Not just for overweight people but for anyone who has felt societal pressure to conform, conceal, or change an aspect of who they truly are. The character of Will is flawed (sometimes annoying) and very much the conflicted heart of this show. But it’s because we are all Will to some degree. Struggling with the real desire to become healthier in our lifestyle but on our own terms. Developing a personality that copes with the pressure by being in your face and replacing authentic confidence with bravado that evaporates as soon as there is a chance to be fully heard. Will in many ways is a “Very Hungry Girl“, same as I was as teen – hungry to fill up on life, hungry to be seen as the meaningful person she is, and hungry to belong, to really belong to a group who gets her.

You know a show is striking a chord when during the first episode viewers begin picking sides between the leads. It wasn’t long before my twitter friends began a “Team Amber” or “Team Will” debate. I felt a collective sigh of relief from our community that these characters were also revealed to be incredibly likable with their initial struggles with group pecking order, cliques, and butterfly inducing crushes — exactly the real-life dramas that other teens experience (regardless of body size).

But beyond the everyday trials of being a teen in America, this show began to unravel for many young viewers some important questions and fodder for conversation that can actually jump from the category of entertainment to valuable personal insights. A lot of teens posted about relating to the “dieting since she was 10 years old” Amber, sharing about the already long and painful history with hating their bodies that dieting had already produced! When the more serious storyline of Caitlin’s eating disorder is revealed, the wall posts were filled with questions about how to help a friend and a real desire to better understand how eating disorders are treated (many also hoped the network would offer more info on this topic). For more info on how to help a friend with an ED click here

My fellow Actionist® Melissa Atkins Wardy AKA @pigtailpals from Wisconsin, held a viewing party with seven teens in her life (The “Girl Gang”) and they used the conversation starter I put together for the show. Below is a series of her tweets post “Huge”:

@pigtailpals: Girl Gang & I covered your excellent Conversation Starter. They gave excellent answers. What I learned the most was girls (16-19yo) were so happy to see diversity & to get a break from the cultural beauty myth that is omnipresent. Kudos on premier. My Girl Gang of 7 teens talked for HOURS. They’re coming back next wk for round 2!

And I can’t ignore the amazing (and silly) experience that one of my favorite teen Actionists®, Emily-Ann Rigal (or @schmiddlebopper) had watching “Huge” with her mother. Check out the hilarity here:

And in the end, that is all this passionate and realistic Actionist® can ask for in an entertainment program. That it hold the potential to engage layers beneath the stereotyped surface. As I have mentioned before, I can stomach some initial stereotype so that we can eventually move beyond it and allow viewers to acclimate and support the stunning vision and voices of those that are usually marginalized in mainstream media.

You better believe I’ll be tuning in next week and look forward to watching (and talking about ) it with you!

I’ve noticed some concern and skepticism about the Monday 6/28 debut of ABC Family’s new series “Huge“, about 7 teens who spend their summer at weight loss camp.

Yep, the title sounds controversial even thought it’s actually based on a well known book by Sasha Paley.

Yep, the premise sounds potentially exploitative.
Why do we have to watch a show about overweight kids at a weight loss camp?
Why can’t we just see seven diversely shaped teenagers who take on life, love, and the pursuit of unlimited text time with friends?

Well…because that seems too close to everyday. And seven teens struggling with their weight set against the backdrop of a weight loss camp is compelling television.

We have to remember this is TV.  And TV has to be visual and flashy – enough to capture your attention away from roaming to your laptop, cell phone, iPad or remote control. Enough to compel you to tune in multiple times, therefore getting ratings and guaranteeing that shows survival.

TV deals with extremes. And people like to see extremes. “Fear Factor”? Soap Operas?
Hello, one of the most popular reality shows is called “EXTREME” Home Makeover.
Not “Moderate and Balanced for Your Budget” Home Makeover.

Believe me, I am immensely sensitive, critical and tuned in to the extreme (and often damaging) messaging about body image that the media presents…especially to teenagers. But I think we have an opportunity here that I don’t want us to miss.

I’ve been a leader in the Confidence Community™ for over 16 years, my work is dedicated to creating a nation of confident women and girls. And that’s just not lip service – it’s my life. It’s who I am. It’s what I’ve overcome and what I dream about every single day. I dream of a world where women and men are truly free from body hatred and dieting tyranny. Where little girls aren’t obsessed with their looks and women earn their fare wage in the workplace. A world where we pay teachers more than the reality stars who flash their private parts whenever someone pulls out a camera.

But I am also a passionate and realistic Actionist® living and working within Hollywood. It was my choice 10 years ago, to move to the heart of the entertainment (and fantasy making) industry to create a platform within mainstream media that could tell a different story about the lives of women and girls.

I love the power of TV and all media to connect and communicate to a vast audience. I love that it creates a common touch point between total strangers who can all share the same recorded moment at the same time. And I love that it stirs up conversation. Good, bad, right or wrong, when media can inspire authentic communication that really geeks me out.

When thinking about this show we also have to remember that TV isn’t a substitute for a social movement. We can use the media to move messaging but it can’t replace the every day action we take to change the real issues we face. “Huge” in particular is not designed to be a social service campaign. It is designed to be entertaining. That doesn’t mean we can’t be thoughtful or critical about the issues it confronts or the emotions it will stir up. But let’s not forget it is a TV show and that shouldn’t usurp a real conversation about these issues with the people in your life.

My hope is that “Huge” could also end up allowing us to move beyond the obvious extremes and move us into a world where these teen characters are actually going to give voice to an invisible population. It’s rare that we ever get to see heavier teens being the stars of their own lives on TV shows. They are usually relegated to the roles of “side kick”, “butt of joke”, and “sloppy gross guy”. Yet on this show, these characters get to be real teenagers…dealing with quests for popularity, unrequited love, feelings of inferiority, and a hope that people will look past their exterior and really see them.

Those aren’t plus size issues. Those are universal issues.

And following other ground breaking extremely stereotypical shows that audiences had to sit through before we became more comfortable with African Americans on our TV’s (“The Jeffersons”) or Gays and Lesbians in our living rooms (“Queer as Folk” anyone?) we will also have to bear the first image of Nikki Blonksy showing off in her swimsuit to reveal not just a size 6 thigh (Hollywood’s typical version of ‘fat’) but real honest to goodness cellulite.

It’s a shocking. I won’t lie. I have already screened the first two episodes and that scene with Nikki stopped me in my tracks. It stirred in me a lot of mixed feelings about my own relationship to weight, size and seeing it on screen. And that’s good. It should do that. But that shock only lasted for a moment before I became pretty fascinated as I watched Nikki’s character “Will” give voice to the inner debate many of us have had “I want to get healthy and be a better version of myself but I want to do it for me. Not because someone is forcing me to change”.

To me this is nowhere near as disturbing as the “Biggest Loser“  where people go from 500 pounds to 100 pounds in the span of just a few weeks. However, the difference here is that “Huge” isn’t a reality show (or pretending to be one). It’s a fictional series written by two very compelling writers, the Mom/Daughter duo Winnie Holzman and Savannah Dooley. Holzman, thoroughly gets teen angst and is the writer of one of my all time favorite shows “My So Called Life”.

So I am more than willing to deal with all my mixed feelings about the show and it’s subject matter to watch how the stories unfold this summer. I hope we don’t write it off too soon and stop from seeing the heart that I think emerges more in episode 2.

Because I am committed to creating dialogue about this show, I have created a conversation guide to help you begin a dialogue with your students, children, spouse, friends or blogging community after viewing “Huge”.

Everyone consumes media through the lens of their own life experiences and I have no doubt that there will be a million different reactions to the story lines based on your own views and background. But for Actionists® out there who say they want to see more diversity on TV – this could also be a chance to really make some noise.

Sometimes we have to first work with these extremes in order to eventually normalize them and build upon them. And then hopefully we have a plethora of programs that feature diverse women’s stories regardless of their body size.

Yours in Action,

Jess

These questions are intended to help create a conversation amongst viewers of HUGE. There are no right or wrong answers. Just some things to think about…

1. What was your initial reaction to the title of this series? What did you think it meant? Did your opinion change after seeing the show?

2. How did you feel seeing overweight people have the lead roles on a TV show? Why do you think we don’t see many overweight people in leading roles on TV? Do you think this show can change the way we look at people of different sizes?

3. Each character has their own relationship and struggle with their body image and weight. Which character do you relate with the most so far? What has your own experience with body image felt like?

4. The issue of weight can bring up many feelings, why do you think it is such an emotional topic to address?

5. The character, Will, seems pretty angry at times. What do you think she is angry about? Where do you think her anger is directed (society, her parents, her peers, the camp, etc)?

6. What do you think it might feel like to be an overweight teenager? What obstacles or challenges do you think they might face on a daily basis? What stereotypes do you think people have about someone who is overweight?

7. What does being ‘healthy’ mean to you? Do you think that health is only defined by what you weigh? What other attributes make a person ‘healthy’?

8. Do you think girls and women face a lot of pressure about their weight? Where do you think that pressure comes from? Is it the same or worse for boys?

9. The character, Amber, says, “I’m good at dieting, I’ve been doing it all my life”. What do you think she meant by that? What other areas do you wish girls were recognized for, outside of their weight or appearance (for instance: grades, sports, etc.)

10. Everyone at Camp Victory has at one point been labeled the ‘fat’ kid. What other labels do teens experience? Have you ever been labeled? If so, how did that make you feel?

11. Most of the characters are encouraged to keep journals. Why do you think writing down your feelings could be helpful in expressing them? Have you ever kept a journal? Has it been helpful?

12. All of these characters are living HUGE lives: they are taking risks, challenging stereotypes and learning more about the people they really are. Are you living a HUGE life? What can you do to make your life more HUGE?

13. The character, Caitlin, leaves camp because she is struggling with bulimia, which requires medi­cal and psychological treatment. Do you know anyone who has struggled with an eating disor­der before? What can you do if you think your friend might have an eating disorder?  For more information go to: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/information-resources/family-and-friends.php

14. ABC Family believes that healthy living means living life to the fullest! What could you do today to begin living a healthier, fuller life?

Jess Weiner is an author, self-esteem expert and lives a HUGE life by helping girls around the world feel more confident!