Hi Jess,

I have a question. I want guys to notice me but it’s kinda hard cause they just think of me as the fat, mean shy girl which I’m not. I love to do crazy stuff, how do I get that message out? I dress like a girl and stuff and I’m pretty quiet in class so if you can, please help. Kate

Hi Kate,  I can totally understand wanting to be noticed and liked by others.  Why do you say people think of you as the mean, shy girl?  Do you walk around with a smile on your face or do you hide your face toward the ground?  To have friends you have to be a friend.  So make sure you are showing people who you really are inside.  Smile to others and start up conversations about the last fun thing you did.  People are always drawn to others who are being real and authentic, so make sure you are showing people the real Kate!  I promise the right guy will like you and you won’t have to “get his attention” cause you will already have it.

Team Jess

You’ve seen Katherine on HUGE’s website and probably even asked her a question or two.  Now it’s your turn to listen as she answers my questions about her new book “Rock What You’ve Got!” Find out how she chooses to live HUGE and gets her body peace by doing esteem-able acts!

These questions are intended to help create a conversation amongst viewers of HUGE. There are no right or wrong answers. Just some things to think about…

1. Why do you think Will chose to sneak into the kitchen with Amber? Was it to impress her? To bond with her? Or was she escaping her own pain about parent’s weekend, too?

2. Instead of talking about their emotions around their family dynamics, Will and Amber choose to sneak-eat brownies. Have you found yourself eating over feelings that are too hard to express or may feel overwhelming or embarrassing?

3. Will observes some behavior by Amber that prompts her to call her out by saying “that is eating disorder crap”.  Have you ever seen your friends do things that could indicate an eating disorder?  Do you know what kinds of behaviors to look out for? If you want to find out more information about eating disorders and how to get help for them please visit www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

4. What did you think of Becca finally confronting Chloe about their friendship? Was she brave to ask her “Why did we stop being friends”? Have you ever wondered why a friendship of yours has fizzled out?

5. Chloe finally admits to Becca that she just wanted to “be a totally different person” and that’s why she dropped her as a friend. Do you think remaining friends with Becca would have reminded Chloe of the person she used to be (and look like) a summer ago? Could Chloe have found a way to work on her health and appearance but still kept her friendship with Becca?

6. Amber’s mom alternates between being competitive with Amber and insecure by putting herself down. This seems to keep Amber in a state of ‘helping’ her mother instead of focusing on her own well-being. Do you think this is a reason that Amber is always looking for comfort in food or guy’s attention? What do you think Amber could/should do about her mother’s behavior?

7. Dr. Rand is angry and shocked to learn that her father is quitting the camp to go and help his 15 year old daughter who is in trouble at home. Do you think he was right in quitting the camp? Is he doing enough to make it up to missing out on Dr. Rand’s life when she was a teenager?

8. Trent jumps up and kisses Chloe (finally!) because he realizes she was the one who told his step-mom and dad about his passion for the drums.Do you think Trent hid parts of who he was from his dad because he was supposed to be ‘the jock’? Do you think this was a relief for Trent – to finally be more of himself? What parts of yourself do you hide from people around you because you think it won’t match your ‘label’ or ‘image’?

9. After Amber runs off because she sees George talking to another girl, Ian goes to comfort her. He finally reveals he has a crush on her. Why do you think Amber chose to kiss Ian. Does she really like him? Was she responding to his kindness? Or is she using his affection to cover up some deeper feelings about George?

10. Alistair has the courage to cut his t-shirt like Will and appears to be coming more into his own confidence. Do you think he meant it when he told Piznarsky that he was ‘over’ the kiss and ‘didn’t really think about it much’?

11. Will runs off when she sees Amber and Ian holding hands and Becca goes to talk to her, only Will is dismissive and closed off. Becca finally confronts Will and tells her that she is ‘done being her second choice”. Why do you think she says that? Was it about time Becca told Will she was being a terrible friend?

12. Will tells Rand she is the one who ate the brownies and tries to get herself removed from camp. Rand tells her that she knows it was a hard and challenging parent’s weekend for Will due to her parent’s being a no-show.  Do you think Will has ever really felt her true feelings about her parent’s not being there? Do you think back at home Will wants more attention from her parents than she really gets and that’s why she may turn to food as a comfort?

13. Will asks Rand what it was like when Rand was fat. Rand says “I hated myself”. Do you think that was truly just because of her weight or do you think that Rand also hated herself because she has a conflicted relationship with her father who abandoned her? Can we sometimes blame a lot of the pain we are feeling in life on our size because that’s easier to control than the way people treat us?

14. Which camper do you think had the biggest transformation so far when it comes to living a huge life and gaining more balance emotionally, physically, and mentally? Who took the most risks? Who is still hiding out? Who has the most potential to really change their life for the better?

Jess Weiner is an author, self-esteem expert and lives a HUGE life by helping girls around the world feel more confident!

Exciting News! New updates have been added to our site!!!    We want you to actually Talk To Jess !  Yep you heard me, we want to hear your voice!

Thanks to the wonderful technology of Video Genie you can now record your own videos right on our site!  We will be posting new campaigns frequently asking you fun, thoughtful and intriguing questions.  You can be one of our featured Actionsts® just by recording your video and sending it to us!  It’s that simple!  New videos will be posted daily!  So keep coming back to see what you and your friends have to say!

Our 1st campaign is already posted, so record your video now!

These questions are intended to help create a conversation amongst viewers of HUGE. There are no right or wrong answers. Just some things to think about…
1.Many of the campers at Camp Victory felt anxious, scared, nervous or angry about their parent’s showing up (or not showing up) for parents weekend. Why do you think having their parents visit stirred up so many feelings?

2. When Will finds out that her parents aren’t coming, she tells Ian that she had imagined having a ‘confrontation’ with them where she can tell them how she really feels about the pressure they put on her about her body size. If you were in Will’s position, what kinds of things would you say to her parents? Would you feel as angry and confused as Will does?

3. Dr. Rand’s dad says “feelings aren’t facts”. What do you think he meant by that? Can our feelings or emotions sometimes cloud our choices around health or our thoughts about our own self-image?

4. Both Dr. Rand and Chloe have kept their family life a secret to the other campers. Why is that? What do you think they are embarrassed or uncomfortable about in revealing who they are related to?

5. A commercial during the fake reality show “Love Handles” features a gym called “Core”. It turns out that this is the gym and weight loss system that Will’s parents own. What do you think about that? Would that have an impact on the pressure Will faces or how she sees herself?

6. During that commercial featuring “Core” we see Amber becoming conscious of her belly and holding in her stomach. Do you think commercials or media that advertise weight loss have a negative impact on teen’s self-esteem? What kind of message does it send to young women?

7. Why do you think Trent lies to his dad about liking Chloe? Is it because he is trying to impress his dad or because he is unable to be himself in front of him?

8. Alistair’s mom and dad seem to not really see who he is. They assume he is going out with Becca and he goes along with it. Do you think he should have said something to his parents? What would you have done in this position?

9. Chloe isn’t really seen by her family either, her dad just hands her a wad of cash and she seems to play the ‘good girl’. That may sound great on the surface, but what kind of impact do you think that may have on Chloe’s self image as well? Is she also hiding who she is?

10. Amber’s mom acts more like a friend than a parent. That seems to embarrass Amber and she has a hard time speaking up to her mom. Do you think Amber having to play the ‘parent’ to her mom is also a cause of the pressure she feels to overeat?

11. Chloe chooses to overeat at the dinner during parent’s weekend – why do you think she did that? Was she angry at Trent? Who did that action end up hurting the most?

12. Ian is devastated to learn his parents are finally divorcing after many years of fighting. Yet, when he finds the hidden cookies he chooses to turn them in to Dr. Rand instead of eating over his feelings. Why do you think he made that choice?

13. Becca seems to carry a lot of pain about the fact that she and Chloe are no longer friends. She blames herself. What do you think happened in their friendship? Is Chloe just on the search to be popular? Or does Becca remind Chloe of the person she really is inside?

14. Amber really wants to go and binge on food to handle her mother’s visit to camp and she asks Will to go dig up her stash of hidden food. Why does Will agree? What kinds of emotions or feelings is Amber avoiding by eating over them?

15. For the teens at Camp Victory, food can be comfort and a replacement for expressing what they are really feeling inside. What other ways could they choose to express themselves while not hurting themselves with unhealthy eating habits? Why is it so much easier to grab a bag of chips or a cookie than it is to tell your friends how you feel or to stand up to your parents?

Jess Weiner is an author, self-esteem expert and lives a HUGE life by helping girls around the world feel more confident!

Raven Goodwin of ABC Family’s HUGE might play the shy, quiet character, “Becca”, but she is anything but! Check out my interview with Raven as we dish about the truth behind “Quiet Becca” and hear her advice to girls about respecting each other. Oh, and I do lose all control of the interview when Nikki Blonsky walks by – watch!

Dear Jess,

I’m 15, 5′3, and 165 pounds. I’ve been chubby my entire life, so on some days I could be absolutely fine with my body or picking out flaws to no end. I’ve been thinking on and off about losing weight, but I feel like I’m a tad too young and still have some more growing to do to try that now. I need your advice because I don’t know what to do with my body.

The best way to become healthy is the old fashioned way – hard work, dedication, commitment, and PATIENCE. Diets don’t work. I repeat – diets don’t work. They only set us up for shame and guilt. Instead of crash-dieting, try coming up with healthy habits that you can actually sustain. Ask your doctor for help. Nutritionists are sometimes on-staff at doctors’ offices, and can help you come up with a lifestyle plan that will help you become a healthy person who doesn’t have to worry about her weight. Since you are 15, I would advise you to consult your parents and a doctor about what is really the right weight for you — sometimes our genes make us have different body shapes and sizes — so you may consider yourself ‘chubby’ compared to someone else but in actuality you may be at a good weight for your genetic history. Some other questions to think about, too: Why are you losing weight? Is it to be healthy or to be thin? Do you think your life will be so much better once you lose weight? Why? After all, weight is just a number on a scale. Really sit down and think about these questions.  And, remember: losing weight isn’t just about food and exercise. It’s about taking a step back and really thinking about your goals. Make them realistic – and make them doable. Start small and build yourself up.

Blessings Team Jess

These questions are intended to help create a conversation amongst viewers of HUGE. There are no right or wrong answers. Just some things to think about…

1. This episode seems to deal a lot with the issue of self-sabotage – the things we do to ourselves that may be self-destructive. What are some things we do in our lives that may be self-sabotage? Is it cheating on a diet when we are trying to get healthy?  Cheating on a boyfriend when we really like someone? Why is it we tend to do these things when we are feeling good? Have you ever had a moment of self-sabotage?

2. Dr. Rand shares something very personal (and special) with Wayne. What is she celebrating? Do you think it’s a big deal that Wayne wants to come with her to help her celebrate?

3. Ian says that “people give you presents for the person they wish you were”. What do you think he meant by this?

4. Do you think Chloe and her friends wanted to drink alcohol for her birthday celebration because they aren’t allowed to eat any sweets? Do you think they are replacing food with alcohol? What other substances or activities can people overindulge in?

5. What do you think of Amber’s choice to steal alcohol from Poppy? Amber also said she used to shoplift. Do you think she does this to impress people and make them like her?

6. Will confronts Amber about George. Why do you think Will is protecting Amber by not telling on them?

7. After Piz kisses Alistair and Alistair rejects him -Piz tries to hurt Alistair and embarrass him. Do you think he did that because he himself was embarrassed? Why didn’t Chloe stop Piz from hurting Alistair?

8. Wayne tells Dr. Rand “I want to know you”. Can having someone you like say that to you feel scary? Have you ever felt this way?

9.  Why did Dr. Rand have an affair with Jonathon? Do you think that was a moment of self-sabotage? Do you think Dr. Rand is afraid that things may be going “too well” with Wayne? Have you ever done anything to mess up a relationship that was going well?

10.  George is having second thoughts about his relationship with Amber – is he making the right decision to stop seeing her? Or is this a way for him to sabotage his relationship?

11. When are you are trying to live a Huge life, what are some things you can do to help yourself stay balanced emotionally, physically, and mentally so you don’t feel the need to self-sabotage? If you do have a moment of sabotage, can you forgive yourself?

Jess Weiner is an author, self-esteem expert and lives a HUGE life by helping girls around the world feel more confident!

I had the chance to interview the ADORABLE leading men Ari Stidham (Ian) and Harvey Guillen (Alistair) of ABC Family’s hit show HUGE: Check it out as we dish about living huge, body image and their advice to YOU about loving yourself!

Don’t forget to watch HUGE tonight at 9pm on ABC Family and check back here for some juicy conversation starter questions following the show!!

I had the chance to interview the ADORABLE leading men Ari Stidham (Ian) and Harvey Guillen (Alistair) of ABC Family’s hit show HUGE: Check it out as we dish about living huge, body image and their advice to YOU about loving yourself!

Don’t forget to watch HUGE tonight at 9pm on ABC Family and check back here for some juicy conversation starter questions following the show!!