Dear Jess, sometimes I feel like such a freak. I’m the only one of my friends who hasn’t had a boyfriend yet or been kissed. I also feel like the world’s watching my every mistake. I know I have low self-esteem, but it seems like every day I don’t fit in. I am beginning to wonder if something’s wrong with me. What can I do to feel normal or at least sane every once in a while?

Submitted by: Sarah Anne D. 16, PA

Sarah Anne, welcome to being 16. You’re what I call an “in-between girl.” You’re somebody in between being a little girl and a young woman. So, at this stage, everything that you’re feeling as terrible as it might feel for you is really normal. That sense of everybody watching you, not feeling good about yourself, feeling like you’re not caught up with the rest of your friends, and feeling like you’re never going to get there this is all really normal. Sarah Anne, I felt the same way you do when I was 16. I hadn’t kissed anyone at the time either, and I hadn’t even had a boyfriend yet. I didn’t have my first kiss or my first boyfriend until I was 18-years-old. I felt like the biggest, left-out loser on the planet. But I’m here to tell you this: Your life unfolds at its own special pace. And you have to believe that. You have to focus on what makes Sarah Anne a dynamic and beautiful individual in the world, and stop comparing yourself to your friends and their relationships. Focus on living your own best life. And know that, in the end, we all want to feel normal and sane. And the way to do that is to really love and care about yourself more. Stop calling yourself words like “freak” or “loser.” And, instead, start to call yourself things like caring and sensitive because that’s what I get from your letter. And that’s what I believe you are.