What should you do if a girl is mean to you over nothing, and she is talking about you and saying stuff about you that is not true?

Submitted by: Ashley L. 15, MI

Well, Ashley, since I lived this throughout my life between the ages of 11 and 17, I can tell you that the best trick of the trade is to ignore the comments. I know that’s hard. And I know that’s frustrating. I know you feel like you want to be striking back and lashing out and answering and defending yourself. But the truth is: We cannot control what other people say about us or how they feel about us. And sometimes girls and people in general are just mean. They’re mean because they have other things going on in their lives or they see something about us that makes them feel insecure or jealous. And they take it out on us in ways that are not very healthy. But that doesn’t mean that you have to believe what’s being said about you. And, quite frankly Ashley, it doesn’t mean that you have to build your life around what this girl is saying about you. I say ignore her. If she’s a true bully, she’ll go away because bullies really thrive off the attention. Don’t give her the attention. Know that she’s not somebody important in your life to be listening to. And spend time with people who really do love and like you, and I think you’ll see your confidence boost up again. And one more thing, Ashley: If one of your friends confronts you about something this girl has said about you, you can just say “I don’t know her, and I’m not interested in what she’s saying.” Just leave it at that. Don’t get into a name-calling battle or a tug of war of emotions. Take the higher road.